Wild and Wonderful World
by catherine.cat33
Summary: AU. Rewrite of, "The World Goes on As I Stand Here Stuck." Canon up to All Falls Down. Takes place nearly a year after All Falls Down. Clare and Eli have been dating for a year, and everything is going great, until she finds out that she's pregnant. How will this affect Clare's relationships? Who will be there for Clare?
1. The Realization

_**AN:**_ Hey y'all. So I'm going to be editing this story from the beginning and then continuing on since I have muse for it (even though it's been like...forever). Anyway, if you haven't read this story before I'll give you a little introduction. It's an AU-ish story. I'm calling this an AU-ish because even though some of the events in the show will have taken place. Like Clare and Eli's story is canon up to All Falls down. Clare's parent's have been having problems, but Clare doesn't think they'll be getting divorced. Jenna was pregnant and gave up Tyson and moved in with the Bhandari family. This story takes place almost a year after All Falls Down. Clare is a junior, Eli is a senior. I'll be keeping up a pretty regular schedule with this one (hopefully). Like I said, it's an AU story, so some things may not be completely to the season/storyline. Please keep that in mind as you're reading! If there are any other major differences I'll be sure to let you know so you don't get confused! Happy reading. :)

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I own this idea, but Degrassi and it's characters don't belong to me.

Chapter One:

Clare had been up all night, her stomach in knots. It wasn't the first night she hadn't been able to sleep, but it was the first night the realization hit her. The nausea fell in waves, suddenly overtaking her and consuming her thoughts. Still, the realization hadn't hit until she'd been awake at six in the morning, staring out her window as the sun was rising. As the sun began to shine brightly through the curtain in her room, Clare's mind had wandered. She didn't want to believe it was possible, but what if that thought in the back of her mind was right? That voice she had tried so hard to forget, the voice that sounded like her mother's disapproving tone, could be right. It frightened her, she didn't know how she would handle it. If that voice was right.

If she was pregnant.

Since six in the morning Clare had been staring at her computer screen, biting her lip as she searched Google. She read about pregnancy, symptoms and how people could tell they were pregnant. Obviously she knew she would need to take a test, but Clare was so worried that she hadn't wanted to really think about it until she confronted herself with the reality of it all. Staring at her computer screen for hours, looking at every possible link she could and studying it like she needed to know all the information. She barely even looked up until she heard her name being called from downstairs.

"Clare!" she heard the voice call once again followed by a set of footsteps up the staircase. Staring, like she was still stunned, Clare watched the door open and reveal her best friend Adam. She tried to smile, but she saw Adam already looking worried once he stepped foot into the room. "I know we had plans but if you're...not feeling well I can get you some soup or something and call you later?"

Clare closed her eyes, pushed her laptop away from her and stood up from her bed. "No! No, you don't need to leave." Her voice carried a tone of panic and she caught Adam's eyebrow raise as he looked at her. Clare felt scrutinized under his gaze and she glanced down, nervously playing with the sleeves of her shirt, not wanting to meet her friends gaze, afraid he might guess something was wrong.

"Seriously, Clare, you're really pale. Are you sure you're okay? We don't need to hang out if you're sick or something." Adam sounded worried for her, and that thought made Clare feel even worse. She didn't want to worry her best friend about what might be wrong with her, but obviously she would need to tell someone. Clare had been worried about this for hours, weeks if she'd been honest with herself, so shouldn't she let someone into her crazed thoughts? Maybe there would be some sense of comfort in telling someone. In saying the words out loud.

Clare opened her mouth, then closed it again. She couldn't do this. She couldn't tell Adam she was pregnant. She didn't even know if she was pregnant, so why should she say anything? Clare's gaze turned to her bed, glancing at her laptop and the stuffed animals on her bed. She looked at the tattered pink bunny rabbit she'd had since she was a child, it's eyes seemed to look right through her at the moment. She couldn't help but curse at the rabbit in front of her, blame it for making her feel guilty. Stupid rabbit. Stupid judgmental rabbit.

"Okay you're starting to freak me out. You're really pale and you're not talking to me. What's going on?"

At Adam's words Clare turned back around and looked at her friend. Might as well rip off the band aid, right? Plus, maybe she would feel better once she said the words out loud. "I...I...I can't do this." Clare suddenly stopped, waving an arm and falling back against her bed, an arm resting over her stomach. She groaned loudly and turned her head to Adam. He looked confused, like he was about to say something. Clare cut him off from whatever it was as she quietly spoke. "I think I'm pregnant." Her voice shook as she said the words. She did not feel better saying the words out loud, in fact she felt...worse. Much worse, as if this was all becoming really real and she needed to face it. Clare closed her eyes, not bearing the thought of looking at her friend while he processed what she just said. She didn't want to see judgement across Adam's sweet face. She didn't want to have to explain it any further. She couldn't.

Clare was a smart girl, that's what she'd always thought about herself anyway. So, how did she end up in this situation? They'd used protection. Even after all her years of hearing how sex before marriage was a sin, Clare couldn't help but think back to what her parents would say. She'd chosen to have sex, and Clare had not come to that decision lightly. She was young and in love with her boyfriend, why should she feel wrong to express that love in a way other people had? And it wasn't like it had been bad. It wasn't enjoyable, and Clare had been a little uncomfortable at first knowing that Eli had had sex before and she had no idea what to do. But at the end of it, she'd been happy to give Eli her virginity. Especially after all their ups and downs, it was nice to have a good moment with him. To have that moment with him. Something she wouldn't share with anyone else.

"You and Eli..." Adam finally spoke after what seemed like an eternity to Clare. His voice didn't hold judgement, it sounded like he was still processing everything. Clare peeked at him and saw him scratching the back of his head. "But...your purity ring."

Clare glanced down at her finger and let out a low sigh as she twisted the ring around her finger. She sat up slowly, her hands clasped together, and turned to look at Adam. "Well I didn't want my parents to know. Eli and I made that choice together and...I know after everything you've heard from me and my parents that you think I wouldn't make this choice but I've been thinking a lot lately. I still believe in God, I just came to the decision that while I believe in God I don't think I believe in everything else. I mean, I do, in some weird way. Like I've heard all my life all these things, and I still believe them but I wanted to make that choice with Eli. I really do love him, Adam. I'm a Christian, but that doesn't mean I can't do things that go against my faith, does it? Oh God, what am I saying?" Clare spoke rapidly, trying to explain it to Adam but also keep herself calm. She looked at her hands, staring at the silver purity ring she wore on her finger. The promise she had made to God, to her parents, echoed in her ears. Not until marriage. But, what if she was in love?

Love is special, isn't it? Like marriage in a way, and she should be free to express that love. She'd made that promise to her parents when she was eleven years old, she was fifteen now. Obviously she'd changed. There was no way she could explain that to her Christian parents, but it was a change she felt inside. She'd wrestled with it for a while, and prayed for an answer. When she chose to give Eli her virginity it was a choice she didn't take lightly, and she didn't regret it. Until now. Was this God's way of telling her that she shouldn't have done it? She didn't believe God was vengeful, but could this be a sign that her act had really been a sin? Tears pooled in her eyes as she thought about it. She was overwhelmed with emotions.

Adam came over and sat on her bed beside her, wrapping his arm around Clare's shoulders. Clare turned and put her head on his shoulder as she cried. "Was it wrong, Adam? Did I make the wrong choice? Is this punishment for making love to Eli? Does God hate me?" She murmured between cries as she clung to her friend. Adam just sat there, rubbing Clare's back.

"I'm not really religious, Clare, so I don't know what to say. I don't think you should be punishing yourself, though." Adam replied.

Clare looked up at him, tears still in her eyes. She wiped her face with her hand and nodded. "I just don't know what to believe right now." Clare bemoaned.

"I guess the only way to answer your...question is to get a test?" Adam suggested.

"You're right." Clare replied, nodding her head. It was true. There was no way to know for sure without getting a test. Without being positive. Clare stood up from her bed, and turned to face Adam. "We can go get a test. You'll be there with me, right? I don't want to have to wait alone, or go alone. I don't want to be alone." Adam nodded his head when Clare paused, a look across his face that seemed to assure Clare he would be going with her. It made her smile. Turning around, Clare gathered her wallet off her desk and shoved it in her purse along with her phone. "Okay, great. There's a pharmacy down the road and we can go get the test. It's only a ten minute walk."

Adam cleared his throat and Clare turned back to look at him. She'd almost made it all the way to the door. She wanted to get it over with and know, for certain. She didn't want to have this question looming over her head. She stopped and looked at Adam, waiting to see what he was going to say. After a moment Adam spoke, "I don't think we should walk. It'll be too long and you're already...anxious. I'll call Drew, he can pick us up." Adam already had his phone out and hit a few buttons and put it to his ear. Clearly he had made this choice for the two of them.

Clare suddenly dropped her purse, shocked. "Don't! Don't tell Drew. Please don't tell Drew about..." Clare didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure she was pregnant, so she stopped short of saying "the baby". Instead she just gestured to her stomach, hoping that Adam got the message. When her friend nodded, Clare felt relieved and bent down to pick up her purse.

"Hey Drew. Can you pick Clare and I up?" Adam paused, and clearly Drew was responding to his query. Adam groaned, rolling his eyes. "I know you just dropped me off here not too long ago. Don't pretend like you have plans. It's not even two on a Saturday! What plans do you have that start before six at night?" Adam paused again and then nodded to whatever his brother was saying. "Where do we need to go? The pharmacy. Clare needs to pick something up. Uh, tampons?" Adam says it like it's a question and then Clare can hear Drew groaning over the phone. But he must agree because then Adam says, "See you in a few." Hanging up the phone Adam put it in the pocket of his jeans and gives Clare a light smile. "Let's go wait for him."

"Tampons. Good cover." Clare comments, as she walked with Adam down the staircase of her house. The pair made their way outside, Clare locking the door behind her and then taking a seat on the front step of her house. "I don't think I'll be needing those for a while though." Clare mumbled quietly, commenting mostly to herself.

Adam took a seat next to Clare, his voice kind when he spoke. "We don't know that for sure." He tried to give Clare some form of reassurance that this wasn't the end of everything. She gave him a weak smile and then turned her attention to the road in front of her as she waited for Drew to pull up. They stayed quiet until they saw Drew pull up and then Clare got into the backseat while Adam claimed the passenger's seat.

Once the car was moving, Drew started talking. "Don't girls keep enough of that stuff to make sure this never happens? That their best friend's big bro needs to take them for an emergency...run."

"If you can't say tampon then we have more problems on our hands, Andrew." Adam teased his older brother with a laugh that makes Clare chuckle herself. Drew just rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath. The rest of the drive to the pharmacy is quiet.

When they arrive at the pharmacy, Drew parks the car and tells Adam that he'll be waiting outside. Clare and Adam say thanks and dart inside. They make their way around the store until they find the aisle that they need. Clare stares at the wall of pregnancy tests in front of her and sighs. It's a reality now, that she's there.

"Don't you think it's a little odd they keep the pads and stuff in the same aisle as these?" Adam asks, trying to lighten the mood. Clare just shrugs at her friends comment. The tests in front of her seem to be mocking her. Poor teenage girl coming around to get a pregnancy test, don't you know any better? They seem to be taunting her. Clare grimaces at the tests but stays silent. "First Response, EPT, Clear Blue, One Step...there's a lot of options? Is one of them better than the others?"

Clare just shrugs. "I mean they all work the same way. Pee on the stick, it tells you positive or negative." Clare closes her eyes and reaches in front of her, silently vowing to take the first test she reaches. Opening her eyes when one of the rests is in her hand she speaks again. "First response it is." Clare says quietly as she takes Adam's arm and leads him to the front of the store. She places the test on the counter and the woman behind the counter looks it over and then glances at Clare. Clare grabs a pack of gum and places it on the counter as well, hoping to get out of there soon. She doesn't like the feeling of being judged by some woman who clearly doesn't know what she's going through.

"Nineteen dollars and fifty two cents." The woman speaks and Clare passes a twenty her way, silently taking the change from the woman and making her way out the pharmacy with Adam.

"Someone's got a problem." Adam rolls his eyes, commenting on the woman behind the counter. "You think she doesn't see anyone our age picking that up?" He quietly asks as they open the door to the car.

Clare shrugs and mumbles quietly, "I guess not." Then she clears her throat and smiles to Drew. "Thanks for taking us to the pharmacy. Can you drop us back at my house now?" Clare asks as politely as she can. Drew just nods and gives Adam a look to which his brother shrugs. Once they're off, Clare leans her head against the back of the seat and sighs. The pair once again thank Drew when the car stops and he just nods and drives off once they're on their way up the front steps. The walk to Clare's room seems to take them forever, or at least that's how it feels to Clare. She closes her eyes when she gets in the room and looks down at the bag in her hands. "Might as well get it over with." Clare says, unenthusiastically as she makes her way to the adjoining bathroom. Adam gives Clare a reassuring smile and takes a seat on her bed, grabbing the book on her nightstand, an old copy of The Great Gatsby.

Closing her eyes, Clare opens the door to the bathroom. She takes in a deep breath and walks in, shutting the door behind her. It feels like everything is in slow motion as she takes the pregnancy test out of the bag, opening it up. She reads the instructions a couple of times before she feels comfortable. Well, not comfortable. Ready. Before she feels ready to take the test. At this point Clare just needs to know the answer. Will she only be prepping for finals or will she be preparing to take care of a child and finals? The question hangs over her head as she waits for the results. Three minutes, give or take. Clare sets an alarm on her phone and doesn't look at the test in the meantime. She doesn't want to know until she needs to know. Setting the test on the counter, Clare curls up on the plush rug on the floor. Opening the door slightly, Clare looks in her room. "Adam?" Her voice is small, but it still manages to get Adam looking up at her. He looks anxious too and for some reason that comforts Clare. She's not the only one worried. "Can you pass me the rabbit?" she asks softly. Adam gives her a look, scrunching up his nose, but turns and grabs the pink rabbit and tosses it to her without hesitation. Nodding, Clare tells him thanks and then closes the door once again.

Clare sits on the floor, playing with the ears of the old rabbit in her arms. She counts in her head, letting the moments pass. Her anxiety builds and bubbles until the alarm she'd set on her phone goes off. Suddenly Clare jumps up, dropping the rabbit to the floor and turning her attention to the pregnancy test sitting on the counter. She sees the symbol telling her the news, and stares down at the plastic object for a long minute. Clare breathes out, gently touching the test. As if the plastic might explode like how she feels.

Plus.

Positive.

Pregnant.

Clare picks up the test from the counter and then bends down to get the rabbit from her floor. Suddenly her wave of nerves of not knowing turns into clarity. She's pregnant. With child. It's actually happening. It's no longer just a worst case scenario. This is real. This is happening. She's going to be a mother. Of course, these thoughts bring on a new feeling of anxiety as Clare opens the door. Adam is waiting right by the door, tapping his foot. He's been waiting for this news too. He gestures and says, "Well?"

Clare holds the test out to show him, as if her words will only mean so much but the test will be proof. She can't find her voice right then. She doesn't know how to feel either. Nervous? Worried? Angry? Sad? Happy? What exactly is a fifteen year old girl supposed to feel when she gets pregnant?

"You're pregnant." Adam breathes out, glancing back up at Clare. Clare nods. For five heartbeats ringing in Clare's ears, neither of them speak. Then, "What are you going to do?"

"I..." Clare begins and then she shrugs. She'd never considered what she would do if she got pregnant as a teenager. It was never something she'd thought about before because she had vowed to not have sex until she was married.

"You could get an abortion, there's adoption, or you could just keep it. It's your choice, Clare."

Clare doesn't speak, she just stares emptily in front of her. Waiting for an answer to magically come to her. Maybe to feel some relief. Nothing happens, and she doesn't feel any better than she did when this was all a possibility and not a reality.

"But you have to tell Eli. It's his kid too."

That word. _Kid._ There is a kid inside of me, Clare thinks. A small person, a being that is completely dependent on me. She hugs the rabbit close, pressing it against her face trying to hide from the reality of it all. Knowing that it's not possible to hide from the reality of the situation because it's completely real and happening.

 _ **AN:**_ Hopefully this didn't disappoint! I've got thirteen chapters of the old story to work with, plus other ideas to continue to this story as well. I'll begin working on the next chapter soon and maybe have it up later on, but likely tomorrow. Let me know what you think!


	2. Telling People

_**AN:**_ Hey y'all. I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get out chapter 2! I've been having computer problems but that's (hopefully) all over now. Anyway I decided to make this chapter a little longer than originally planned, so I hope that makes up for it being super late! Happy reading :)

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I own this idea, but Degrassi and it's characters don't belong to me.

Chapter Two:

Clare's face stayed buried in the plush rabbit stuffed animal until Adam spoke again. "Clare, you have to tell him." He pleas, his voice soft. He doesn't want to pressure Clare, she can tell. And he's right, she does need to tell Eli. Whether she likes it or not, this is _their_ child. The tiny growing being inside of her is both hers and Eli's, and she should tell him sooner rather than later.

Clare looks up from the rabbit and glances at Adam. He's holding her phone out to her and watching her, waiting to see what she's going to do. Clare sighs and takes a seat on her bed. She puts the pink rabbit down on her lap and gently places the pregnancy test down on the nightstand next to her bed. Then she slowly takes the phone from Adam. Staring down at her lock screen, Clare waits for the phone to open on it's own. When it doesn't she reluctantly enters her password and goes to contacts. She presses down on Eli's name and waits for him to pick up. As the phone rings, signaling she's waiting for him, Clare looks up at Adam. He gives her a smile. His smile is kind, and she knows he just wants to be there for her. Having Adam there eases the anxious feeling in her chest. She wouldn't want to do this alone and she wouldn't want to have to. Thankfully she had Adam. Hopefully she would have Eli there for her too.

"Clare?" Eli says when he answers the phone. Clare gets tongue tied as soon as she hears his voice. Stuck on what to tell him. Is she supposed to tell him over the phone? Does she ask him to come over to the house? Does she ask him to meet on neutral ground? When she doesn't speak after a moment, Eli talks again. "Clare are you there? I thought you hanging out with Adam today for some best friend time?" Eli asks, he sounds slightly worried. Clare had told Eli that she would be spending alone time with Adam, since she felt guilty about how little time they had spent together since Eli and Clare started dating the year prior. She felt their friendship had begun to lack and that Adam felt like a third wheel, and she didn't want that. Which is why Clare had originally designed this day to be a best friend day sans boyfriend. Unfortunately that's not how things wound up working out.

"I was...I mean, I still am. He's right here." Clare replies, doing her best to keep her voice calm and even. She decides it's best to ask Eli to come to the house. Telling him over the phone she couldn't properly tell his reaction, and asking him to meet somewhere might involve the possibility of a massive blow up in front of a park or place full of people. It would be best to meet one on one at her house. "I just, I wanted to see you. I need to see you. If...that's okay. I don't know if you made plans or something when I told you I would be hanging out with Adam all day." Clare stutters, pausing. She feels unsure of herself. Worried about how Eli will react.

"Give me ten minutes."

The phone goes silent and Clare hears the dial tone before the silence. She drops her hand down into her lap and glances at the small plastic test. It might have been small, but it seemed big right then. It seemed like it could scream, or laugh. Was it taunting her? Was it laughing at her? Clare didn't know, but that small test weighed a lot, said a lot. For being so small, it spoke with so much weight. Clare couldn't take her eyes off it, even when she heard Adam.

"You're doing the right thing, Clare." Adam spoke carefully, like he was trying to gauge her reaction to his words. Clare didn't know how to respond, she just shrugged. "I know this is...a lot..." Adam paused, trying to think of what to say to give his friend a sense of confidence. Clare laughs bitterly at the words 'a lot'. It was more than a lot, this was a situation the curly haired girl had never thought would happen to her. This wasn't something that she thought she would be doing. "Do you, uh, want to go wait downstairs?" Adam asks, holding his hand out to Clare.

Clare glances up at her friends outstretched hand. Grasping onto it, Clare turns back and takes the pregnancy test with her as they make their way downstairs. The pink bunny rabbit stuffed animal bouncing along the railing as they walk. Clare takes a seat on the couch, curling her legs up against her chest. She puts the pregnancy test down by her legs on the sofa cushion and plays with the ears of her rabbit. Without looking up, Clare starts talking like a dam burst. "What's going to happen? There are so many what ifs Adam. Like...what if my parents want me to get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption? What if Eli doesn't believe me? What if Eli has one of his...freak outs and does something stupid? What am I going to tell people? How can I tell Alli, or...or Jenna? Or anyone else? Oh my God, I'm a walking statistic. I'm going to be a teen mother. What if I'm a terrible mother? I don't know what to do with kids! All the experience I've had with kids is...family get togethers and working with the younger kids at Sunday school? I don't know how to raise a child! I'm not going to be able to do this." Clare speaks rapidly without taking a breath, ranting about everything until she can't think anymore. She wants to cry again, but she manages to hold back the tears. Worry covers her face, her body feels tense. She knows this is what has to be done. She has to tell Eli. These are choices that they have to make now. No matter what happens, her life is already different than it was a few hours ago when she was only looking up 'How do I know if I'm pregnant?' on Google.

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind." Adam comments quietly. Clare raises her head to look at him, tilting her head to the side. "Do you want to keep this baby, Clare?"

Clare looks at her friend, stunned. The question posed just then made her think. "I...I don't know. Maybe? I mean, despite everything I just know I couldn't go through with an abortion. That's one thing I know. Not that I've thought about it. I just, with all the talk and everything, it just wouldn't...feel right. Does that make sense?" Clare closes her eyes, scrunching her nose.

Before Adam can talk the doorbell dings. Clare looks up, worried. Being confronted with the news herself was one thing. Telling her boyfriend it was happening was another. Adam must have been able to tell how Clare was feeling since he stands up and nods with a light smile. Adam walks to the door and opens it, greeting his other best friend. "Clare, I'm going to go. Call me later, okay?" Adam calls back to Clare and leaves before she has a chance to reply. Once he's out the door the door closes and Clare hears footsteps. Eli sits down on the couch next to her with his signature smirk.

"Hey Edwards. What's so important that you ended your best friend date with Adam? You'd been looking forward to that since you made the plans." Eli sounds concerned that she cancelled on Adam suddenly. "Not that I don't love seeing you because I do." Eli chuckled with a genuine smile spreading across his face. He leans over and presses a kiss to her lips before pulling away.

Clare smiles and looks at Eli. Worry bubbles in her chest as her heartbeat echoes in her ears. Clare stands from the couch, dropping the rabbit to the cushion and taking the pregnancy test behind her back. Clare paces somewhat, hands behind her back trying to shield Eli from seeing the test until she mentions it. Clare looks at him and she can already see a question brewing. Before he can ask whatever it is that he's thinking, Clare speaks. "You love me right?"

Eli looks taken aback by the question, an incredulous look on his face. Shaking his head he speaks. "Of course I do. I love you Clare. So much. Why are you asking? What's going on?" Eli asks, moving to stand up.

Clare holds out her hand and Eli sits back down on the couch. He studies her for a minute and looks worried about what she could possibly be telling him next. Clare feels that worry from him, and also her own worry. "I'm...pregnant." Clare whispers quietly.

Eli tilts his head, cupping a hand around his ear. He teases Clare with a quick, "You'll have to speak up, Clare, my super sonic hearing is out of order."

Clare rolls her eyes. Normally she would have let a laugh out at that comment, but she needed to get this out. "I'm pregnant." Clare says louder. She stands with her hands behind her back and looks at her boyfriend sitting on the couch. Eli stares at her, silent. Clare counts six heartbeats echoing in her ears, and Eli still hasn't said anything. He looks stunned, and Clare is curious to see his reaction. Moving her hands from behind her back, Clare holds out the positive pregnancy test, "Eli, I am pregnant." Saying it out loud again somehow makes it more real to her. By repeating the phrase over time, Clare starts feeling the truth behind the words. Not just that she is pregnant herself, but that she is going to have a baby...a child. Despite all the things going wrong, that could go wrong, Clare has begun to realize that she is pregnant. That she wants to keep the child.

Eli doesn't respond, and it makes Clare nervous. She wants to shake him, or even hug him. Tell him that everything is going to be okay, that they can do this together. But she does neither. Clare just stands there and waits for Eli to respond.

"Wow." Eli finally says, no trace of emotion in his voice. "But...we used a condom."

Clare wanted to scoff at his reaction. Of course they'd used a condom when they'd had sex, but didn't he know they weren't always completely effective? That something could have been wrong. Clare reminded Eli of that, "They're not one hundred percent effective."

"I know that! I'm not stupid Clare!" Eli replies, his voice raised looking at Clare with angry eyes before he looked back down. A few moments passed, Clare counted the times her heartbeat pounded, echoing in her ears. Fifteen. "What are you going to do about it?"

Clare crosses her arms, suddenly feeling defensive. Like she was fighting for not only herself, but her child. "What am _I_ going to do? This isn't some problem you can just push aside or hide away because you don't want to deal with it, Eli."

Eli stands up from the couch and looks at Clare. "You're right. This _problem_ as you yourself just called it is something we can handle together." Clare looks shocked, but before she can say anything to counter Eli continues. He takes Clare's hands and speaks softly. "I'll go to the clinic with you and we can sort everything out there. We don't even have to tell anybody! This will all be over before your parents even get home. Everything will go back to normal."

Clare gasps and takes a step back, dropping Eli's hands roughly. "I'm not going to _murder_ **_our_** child! You know that's against my beliefs."

"Having sex was against your beliefs too, but we still did that. I thought...I thought we were getting past your twisted Catholic upbringing."

"Yes, Eli, we had sex. We had sex and it was...good. But, look how well that turned out," Clare rolls her eyes, gesturing to her still flat stomach as if it's evidence enough.

Eli raises his own hand to gesture to her stomach before he talks again, "Clare don't you see how this problem will go away easily if you just got the operation? Welcome to the twenty-first century! A place where women are allowed to control their own fate, not their religion or their parents. You don't have to let this...this thing control your life, Clare!"

Clare's fists clench at her sides, digging into her hips as she gets angrier at Eli's words. How can he refer to her baby as "the problem"? How can he want her to murder their child? How can he not understand that she doesn't see herself doing that? When Clare controls herself, she speaks (hoping her voice doesn't crack with anger), "No, Eli. I can't...do that. I can't do that to my child, to _our_ child."

"Are you serious?" Eli exclaims. "You're sixteen, I'm seventeen. We can't do...we can't raise a child! Do you think this is the right...environment to raise it in?"

"I don't know, Eli. I don't know at all, but I have to try! I have to. I don't see it any other way. I can't see it any other way."

Eli closes his eyes and his jaw tightens. "Well I can't, Clare." he says softly. "I can't have another life so closely linked to mine. Not after... I would make a _horrible_ father! I ruin everything. I am so dysfunctional!" Eli shouts, angrily kicking the coffee table. Clare jumps back, surprised at the sudden outburst from her boyfriend. She watches as he stares at the table for a moment before fixing it back into it's original position and then sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his legs. Clare waits, unsure what she should say then. So many thoughts run through her mind, she has flashes of memories. The Eli who kicked the table is the Eli Clare knew when they were first starting out. This is the Eli who freaked out when she touched his locker, the paranoid Eli who used violence instead of thinking things through. Clare studies Eli as he breathes in an out, noticing his signs of struggle. His frustration, his anger. She knows what she has to do.

"Fine, Eli." Clare speaks, softly, gaining his attention. He looks up from the floor. "It's not your problem. I thought that maybe you would understand...that we could talk about it, but obviously that's not going to happen now. I don't know if we ever can have a rational conversation about this. I just know what I'm capable of doing. What I want to do. What I'm going to do. So, you're free. Welcome to the twenty-first century." Clare gestures widely with her arm, toward the door. "A time where men don't have to be tied down to the women they get pregnant. You can go if you don't want this, but I know what I'm going to do."

Eli stands up, making a move to walk toward Clare but she takes a step back distancing herself. "Please, think this through. Don't let this ruin your life, Clare. You're so smart, you have so many opportunities, please don't..."

Clare put her hands up to make him stop. "Eli, this isn't a debate. This is my decision and I'm giving you an out. So please, take it if you want to and get out of my house."

"Clare..."

"Leave, Eli." Clare stepped back, giving him an opportunity to go to the door. " _Please_."

He falters, stumbling on words he tries to say, but leaves without saying anything else. The sound of the door closing behind him, of the car driving off, seems to hang in the air in his wake. Clare drops down to the floor, tears pooling in her eyes. Was that the end of their relationship? Was that the real end, or would there be an official break up later? Why couldn't he understand?

After some time passes, Clare hears the front door open. "Clare? Sweetheart? We're home." Her mother calls into the house, making Clare's head turn toward the front of the house. She stands up and wipes her eyes on her sleeve, preparing for the conversation.

"In the living room, mom." Clare calls back, doing her best to add a pleasant and happy tone to her voice. Both her parents appear in the entryway to the living room at the same time, both dressed for the fancy luncheon they just came back from. Clare smiles and goes to them, "Hi Daddy, Mom." she kisses each of their cheeks giving them both a quick hug before stepping back.

"Hello Clare, how was your day with Adam?" her father asks, hanging his coat on the sidearm of the chair.

"Great." she replies, taking a seat down on the far end of the couch.

"Wasn't that Elijah's car we saw driving off?" her mother asks, taking a seat next to Clare on the couch.

"Yeah. He picked Adam up. They're going to the comic book store or something." Clare fibbed. Clare then notices that her father hasn't moved to sit down, his eyes are focused on something. The test! The pregnancy test is still on the table. Clare almost reaches for it before her father speaks.

"Clare, what is this?" he asks, gesturing to the test. Her mother grabs the test and turns it over in her hands.

"Well, daddy..." Clare trails off.

Clare's mother clears her throat. When she speaks she sounds slightly disgusted, "Randall tell me this isn't what I think this is! It's a pregnancy test?"

Both Randall and Helen turn toward Clare and she looks down at her hands before nodding in confirmation. Tears cloud her vision again, and she feels the weight of the couch change with her mother standing up.

"This is a joke right?" Helen asks, continuing on with her accusal of Clare's friends, "Who's test is this? Alli's? Right?" Clare can hear the struggle in her mothers voice as she fights the reality of the situation.

Clare stands up from the couch and looks her parents in the eyes, shaking her head. "No, mom, daddy...I'm sorry. It's mine."

"Helen, what does the test say?" Her father asks, not waiting for Helen to answer him before grabbing the test out of her hands. "Oh dear God...it's..."

"It's positive, yes." Clare replies, her voice still wavering in confidence.

"Clare Diane Edwards what have you done?" Helen speaks, fuming with anger as she waves her arms.

"It's his fault. That stupid boy. The one who used to drive a hearse, isn't it? That...boyfriend of yours. I told you Helen, she's too young to be in a relationship. Look at what your daughter has done to herself! To this family!" Randall's words burn with a fire, a deathly fire for Eli.

"God Daddy! It wasn't _his_ fault! It was mutual." Clare exclaims.

"Adoption! That's what we'll do." Helen proclaims suddenly like she's discovered the cure for their current situation. If it were that simple. Helen walks over and puts her hands on Clare's shoulders, "It's the right choice, baby. You're too young to raise a child. You're just a child yourself. My baby."

Clare takes a step back from her mother's embrace. "No mom, this is my baby and I'll raise it. My child is not going to be living with some other family. This baby will stay with me. It's where he or she belongs!"

"Clare, listen to your mother. You're awfully young to be pregnant, and much too young to raise a child on your own. Think about your future." Randall explains.

"No, I can't do that. To me adoption is just as much of an option as abortion is. I can't give up this baby...just like I can't terminate the pregnancy." Clare defiantly holds her ground against her parents wishes, like she's barely done in her life. Her hands cover her stomach to protect the unborn child from the anger of her parents. Clare looks between her parents, both with such different looks on their faces. Helen looks sad, defeated as she realizes how determined Clare is. Randall on the other hand looks determined, like he won't be losing this battle.

"Clare Diane Edwards! You are my daughter and as long as you live under _my_ roof you will abide by _my_ rules! I forbid this." Randall shouts, throwing the pregnancy test to the ground.

"Daddy, how can you be so harsh?"

"This never would have happened if you were like your sister." Randall mutters, shaking his head.

"Comparing me to Darcy? Like she's this perfect child, right? Newsflash, she's not perfect. It's just like you to compare us when I do something you deem wrong." Clare shouts back, enraged that she has to deal with comparisons to her older sister. They were nothing alike, never were. Why couldn't her father seem to separate them?

"She didn't go and get herself pregnant now did she?"

"She ran off to Africa, and it's not like we've seen her these past two years!"

"That doesn't matter." Helen steps in, looking at her daughter and husband. "You're not Darcy. We know that. But this is still a big responsibility."

"I know it is mom, but this is my child. I have to do this. Don't you understand?" Clare asks, taking her moms hands in hopes that the woman who raised her would understand her desire to raise her own child, despite the obstacles she might encounter.

Randall clears his throat to gain their attention. "Clare, are you really set on keeping and raising this child on your own?"

"Yes, Daddy, I am. I'm glad you finally see that."

"Oh, I see that it's come to this." Randall turns to the key rings in the bowl by the coffee table and takes out Clare's set of keys toying with them in his hand.

"Randall?" Helen asks, confusion in her voice.

"Daddy?" Clare asks at the same time.

"Clare if you want to raise this baby then you will." Randall admits, looking down.

"Randall! What are you saying?" Helen exclaims, turning to her husband.

"Thank you, Daddy. Thank you for understanding." Clare sighs, relieved.

"I wasn't finished!" Randall exclaims, looking up from the keys in his hand. He tucks them into his pocket as he continues. "Clare you can raise this child, but you won't be doing it in this house."

"Daddy?"

"If you want to keep this baby then you're no longer a member of this family."

"Randall, you can't be serious!"

"Oh I'm serious, Helen. Do you want her to actually raise this child?" Randall asks, rolling his eyes.

"Well, no...but kicking her out?" Helen bites her lip, looking torn between what Randall is saying and her own beliefs but she doesn't say anything else in the moment.

"No buts about this Helen. End of discussion. Clare is carrying a child, one that I did not plan on her having nor do I want her to have. She can't keep living in this delusion that this is the right choice. But if she wants to, then she won't be doing it under my roof! She's not a part of this family if she keeps this child!"

"But Randall...she's our baby!" Helen protests.

"Mom, it's alright." Clare says softly, turning to her father. "I accept."

Randall looks relieved, "Accept the fact that you need to give this child of yours up for adoption?"

Clare shakes her head, "No, I accept that neither of you want to be associated with a pregnant teenager. So, I'll move out."

Helen puts her hand on Clare's arm. "Clare please rethink this. Your father just said that in the heat of the moment, he doesn't mean those things!"

Clare takes in a deep breath before explaining her thoughts to her mother. "Mom, I love you. Both of you, but I know how you feel about my situation so I'll move out. Just let me gather some of my things and I'll be on my own."

"But, Clare..." Helen pleads.

"No, mom. It's fine." she says, turning to go up the staircase.

"Where will you go?" Randall asks, shock ringing through his words.

"Does it matter?" Clare asks, walking up the stairs and going into her room. She gathers her things into some bags. The most important things, school books and her laptop, photographs that she loves, and books she can't live without. Clothes too. She does her best not to let the sentimental thoughts take over her mind because she wants to get out of the house as soon as she can, not wanting to be in a place where no one wants what she wants-and doesn't care to understand her way of thinking.

When Clare leaves she takes her bags and begins walking, thinking of a destination she can go as she walks. Peter was still in town, she could go there. Maybe Mr. Simpson and his wife would let her stay there for a night or two. Finally, Clare comes to the conclusion that she'll go to Adam's. It's the safest place that comes to her mind and Clare knows that Adam is the one person who will listen to her and hear what she's saying without his own perceptions taking over the conversation.

Arriving at the Torres house, Clare rings the doorbell and waits for someone to answer the door. She hopes that person will be Adam because she isn't sure what she might say if Audra opens the door and sees her with all of her baggage and she doesn't really know how Drew might react.

Thankfully Adam's the one who opens the door and looks only a little perplexed that Clare's at his door. "Hey Clare! What's up?"

Awkwardly, Clare shifts on her feet as she talks. "Could I maybe stay here? My parents...didn't take the news so well and my dad said I needed to move out."

Adam takes Clare's arm and brings her into the house, pulling her into a hug right away. Clare relaxes into the hug, it was just what she needed after the talk with Eli and her parents.

"Adam, who was at the door?" Audra's voice echoes as she walks out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. She smiles when she sees Clare. "Hello, Clare. Well this is a surprise! It's nice to see you."

"Hi Mrs. Torres." Clare replies with a smile.

"Mom, Clare needs a place to stay. Her parents kind of kicked her out." Adam says, getting right to the point as he turns to look at his mom.

"I thought KC told me you used to be called Saint Clare, what could you possibly do to get kicked out?" Drew asks from the top of the staircase.

"I...I'm pregnant."

"Holy shit!" Drew exclaims, racing down the stairs.

Audra holds up her arm to stop him from talking, "Language, Andrew." Next Audra takes Clare's hands and pulls her into a quick hug which causes both Drew and Adam to exclaim in their confusion. "I know this can be difficult."

"You do?" Clare asks, turning to look at Adam and Drew who look just as confused as she does.

"Yes. My sister got pregnant with her oldest son when we were in high school." Audra explains.

"Oh, I see. What did she...did she keep the baby?" Clare asks, wondering if it's possible for her to keep her own child.

Audra nods with a light smile. "She did. She raised him on her own and still graduated with her class."

"Wow." Clare exhales, a feel of relief passing through her. Maybe she can do this, maybe she can do this on her own.

"So does that mean Clare can stay?" Adam asks, taking Clare's hand in his with a big hopeful smile on his face.

Audra nods, "Of course. The guest room has fresh sheets in there. Adam will show you, and you can unpack your things. I expect you to follow the rules of this house, which the boys can tell you about. Chores to be done, homework and tv rules as well as curfew." Audra says, but then her face softens and she puts her hand on Clare's shoulder. "And know that you're welcome to talk to me about anything you need to talk about, I'm here for you."

Clare's lip quavers with emotion as she smiles, "Thanks Mrs. Torres."

Although this day wasn't anything like Clare expected, she was more than happy to end the emotional rollercoaster of the day being led up the stairs by Adam and Drew to unpack in the guest room. She felt safe for the first time today. Like she'd possibly made the right choice. If anything, it was nice knowing that she had people like Audra and Adam, and even Drew, by her side.

 _ **AN:**_ Hopefully this didn't disappoint! I've got like ten chapters left of the previous story to go through, plus new chapters! I promise I'll have a better schedule of updating soon. I'm also debating on changing this story to first person too. Hopefully you're liking this story so far! Don't forget to review! If you have any suggestions for this story or anything I'd to see them in the comments! Thanks for reading. :)


	3. Family Dinners

_**AN:** _ I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. But I'm hoping to get this fic updated more frequently now and actually get on track with it once again.

 _ **Disclaimer:** _ I don't own Degrassi or it's characters. All I own is my ideas.

Clare followed Adam up the stairs, her bags in tow behind her. Suddenly it felt like someone punched her in the gut and she stopped right at the top of the stairs. This caused Adam to stop and turn back to look at Clare and Drew to stop dead in his tracks, nearly bumping into Clare. Clare took in a few short, deep breaths and held tightly to the railing. "I can't breathe." she spoke quietly, her voice wavering.

The Torres brothers looked back and forth between each other and Clare as she struggled to catch, to calm, her breath. After a moment the pair of boys moved Clare's luggage and guided her to sit on the top step. Adam sat beside her, taking her hand in his. "Clare it's okay." he replied, rubbing circles against her back.

Clare turned to look at him, "Okay? How is any of this okay Adam?" she exclaimed, dropping her hand from his grasp and waving it around wildly. "This isn't okay. None of this is remotely okay. I'm sixteen. I've barely started my junior year and I'm pregnant. How could I let this happen?" she bemoaned, covering her face with her hands as she took in a shallow breath, feeling hot tears pricking at her eyes. "My parents hate me. Daddy can't even look at me anymore and Mom...she took it better than him at least? But neither of them want to be associated with me now that I'm...having a baby. They just turned their backs on me, like that." Clare snaps her fingers together, looking at her best friend with a confused and hurt expression, her eyebrows creased together. "How could they do that? Give me that kind of ultimatum? I knew they wouldn't take it well but...Daddy just took my keys and told me no daughter of his would be raising a child out of wedlock." Clare paused, biting her lip. All her emotions were bubbling below the surface and she couldn't bear to think of what might happen.

"Harsh." Drew commented, looking at Clare with some sort of pity in his eyes. He didn't know her well enough to call the girl a friend, but she was his brother's best friend in the whole world and that made Clare okay in his books. But the older teen was still processing everything he just heard. All he'd really known about Clare was that she came from a super Catholic home, had an older sister in some African country building schools or something, that she was in all the smart classes, and that she was dating Eli.

Clare turned to face Drew and just shrugged his comment off, but Adam on the other hand was glaring at his brother. Adam shook his head, turning his attention back to Clare who he then asked, "What about Eli?"

Clare wiped her eyes and sighed, "He took it about as well as my parents did. But his suggestion was an abortion." Clare replied, a venomous tone to her voice as she said the word. Turning her attention to Adam she spoke again, "He just...kept calling the baby a problem. A problem that we had to deal with. That we could deal with before my parents even got home." Clare explained, glancing down at her hands once more. Adam and Drew shared an angry look, but said nothing as the curly haired girl continued to tell them what had happened. "He got so...frustrated, Adam. He was mad and irate. Did he expect me to be so willing to get an abortion? He knows my beliefs! He knew my beliefs when we were dating...which I guess we're not anymore. Why would it be so hard to talk it over? But his first suggestion was to get the "problem" fixed. He didn't even want to talk about it. And when I told him I didn't...couldn't go through with an abortion, not even because of my beliefs but because of my feelings and everything, he practically stormed out. He wants nothing to do with me or this baby. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't do this alone. I don't even know what I want. Adam I'm so scared. I'm so scared that I'm making the wrong choice. That I'm losing my parents, Eli, everyone. What will people think? How can I do this alone? How could the people I love most just drop me like that?" Clare rants, practically sobbing as she shakes her head. Her hands had begun to shake while she was talking, and her leg was bouncing on the step. She seemed anxious and sad while she spoke.

"That's not true. You're not losing everyone. You'll always have me." Adam replied, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Clare in a tight embrace as the girl cried on his shoulder. "Give your parents time, Clare. I'm sure...well, I hope, they'll come around. I don't know, but I don't see them being mad at you forever. Though given what you've told me, the Edwards family seems to be full of people who can hold a grudge." the boy teased, gently nudging Clare. He hoped the comment would help lighten the mood. He couldn't stand to see his best friend upset. And as worried he was for Clare, he was angry at Eli for doing what he'd done. Leaving Clare just like that. It didn't sound like the Eli Adam was best friends with. In fact, it didn't sound like anyone Adam would want to be friends with. "And did you see my mom? She loves you! I'm sure she's thinking of adopting you into the family already. So you have us. Mom, Dad, Drew, and I."

"Yeah, Clare. I mean, Adam's always going on about his best friend so I feel like you already live here. It shouldn't be so hard to get used to you actually living here." Drew comments, offering the girl a grin which she returns with a small smile of her own.

"I'm warning you now, Clare, get ready to be waiting for hours for the bathroom. Drew takes longer than a girl to get ready in the mornings." Adam says with a laugh.

"Hey!" Drew exclaims. "Do you think these good looks come naturally? It takes time to get my hair to look like this." Drew says, pointing to his head with a proud smirk.

Adam makes a face, but still smiles. "Yeah, hate to break it to you bro, but it could use some work." At that comment, Clare cracks a smile and laughs a little and then the Torres brothers feel a little better. Turning his attention back to his best friend, Adam stands up and holds out a hand for her. "Ready to see your new room?"

Clare nods halfheartedly offering a small smile and takes her friends hand as she stands back up. She puts a hand on her luggage and walks with Adam down the hallway to the guest room. She'd been in the Torres house enough times, but had never stayed over night. Mostly because her mother and father wouldn't allow it. Even though Adam was her best friend, he was still a boy. But she'd been in the guest room before. It was at the end of the hall, closer to Drew's room and the bathroom. She couldn't say she really remembered it much, though. Most of her time at the Torres house was spent either in the basement or the kitchen working on a project, homework, or watching tv.

Adam opened the door to the guest room and Clare walked in, glancing around the room. There was a small closet in one corner and a gray bed frame that matched the nightstand and dresser. It looked neutral, but still neat, and at least it was a bed and a place to sleep. Clare couldn't find anything to complain about. She was more than thankful to Mrs. Torres for letting her stay in the house. "It looks cozy." Clare commented, going to sit on the bed and looking back at the Torres brothers in the doorway.

"Mom wanted to do more with it but never got around to it. Maybe she'll let you decorate it or something." Adam said with a small shrug as he looked around. Glancing at the two bags, purse, and backpack Clare had with her Adam raised an eyebrow, "Do you need some help unpacking?" he offered with a bright smile.

Clare shook her head, "No thanks. I just grabbed the essentials, really. I should be fine unpacking myself. Actually, I think I'd like to do that now if you two don't mind." Clare asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at the brothers. They stood there for a moment in the doorway before nodding their head, apologizing, and walking away from the room. Clare followed them to the door and glanced around before shutting it. She turned around and leaned against the door, looking at the room.

It was much different than her room at home, and didn't really feel like home. In fact, the room was so bare it reminded Clare of a hotel bedroom than a guest room in a house. It felt too clean and unused, though the only guest bedrooms she'd stayed in before were at her mother's parent's house and they were just old bedrooms of their children slightly remodeled. Clare always felt it weird to be staying in the bedroom her mom had when she was a kid, since the walls and stuff hadn't changed much over the years. But this was different. The girl stared at the walls for a long time, trying to convince herself that they felt like home. Because they were. Or would be, technically speaking she still had to unpack.

Maybe that's why it was feeling weird.

Clare walked back to the bed and heaved the larger bag onto the bed, unzipping it and looking inside. She took out a picture frame that sat on top and placed it on the nightstand. It was a picture of her and her family during one of the Easter Egg hunts at her cousin's house. They looked so happy that Clare didn't want to leave it behind at the house. As angry and hurt as she was by her parents choices, and her sister's vanishing act, she wanted to remember the good times and everything. Next Clare unpacked her clothes, which for now all went into the empty dresser drawers. She would hang what needed to go in the closet later. Right now Clare just wanted to get the basics done and unpacked so the room felt a little more homey to her.

After almost an hour Clare had everything she packed up set up around the room. School books were on the shelf of the nightstand, pictures on the various spaces around the room, and all her clothes put away. She sat back down on the bed and closed her eyes for a minute.

"Kids! Dinner's ready!"

Clare jumps up from the bed and opens the door, walking down the stairs behind Adam and Drew to greet Mrs. Torres in the kitchen.

"Smells good mom." Adam comments.

"I'm starved." Drew says, taking a seat at the set table and beginning to scoop out servings for himself.

Clare stood awkwardly at the table for a moment before taking an empty seat and sitting down. "Where's Mr. Torres?" she asks, as Drew passed her the bread.

"Omar had to work late at the office. But don't worry, I called him while I was making dinner and he's on board with everything. Of course we'll have to sit down and discuss everything once he gets home. Possibly tomorrow, since it's Sunday and he's off. But for now you should know you'll be taking on a part of the household chores with Adam and Drew, and your curfew is ten on school nights and eleven on weekends, just like Adam. Like I said, we'll need to discuss things more in depth when Omar gets home to figure out everything else, but you're welcome to stay with us Clare for as long as you need." Audra explains, helping herself to some of the food and then passing dishes down the table.

Clare nods silently appreciative of the gesture while Adam just looks over at Clare with a smirk that screams 'I told you so'. Clare shakes her head at him and goes back to eating her meal. Though she wasn't as hungry as she thought she was when she sat down, what she went through today seemed to drain her emotionally and affect how she was feeling. So she kindly ate what she could and then waited for everyone else to be done with their plates.

"Mrs. Torres, I was wondering, I was going to go to Mr. Simpson's house tonight. His daughter's in town with her husband and I haven't seen them in a long while. If it's okay, I could probably get him or his wife to drive me back later." Clare asked. Drew turned his head to her with his mouth open, confused as to why she was going to Principal Simpson's house no doubt.

Audra just smiles and nods her head, "Of course that's fine Clare. Just be home by curfew and call if you'll be late or need a ride. Drew, when you finish eating would you mind driving Clare over?"

As Drew nods his head, finishing up what's left on his plate. Clare shakes her head, "Oh, no it's not a problem. Drew doesn't need to drive me, I can walk." she explains. She didn't want to bother Drew and wasn't sure how he would feel having to drive Clare over to Mr. Simpson's.

Audra looks at Clare sternly. "It's getting dark outside. Drew can drive you, sweetheart. It's not a problem." she says as she goes back to eating her meal, signaling the discussion is over.

Clare leans back in her chair and just shrugs her shoulder, seeing no need to fight with the woman. When Drew finishes he stands up from the table and grabs the keys from the kitchen counter. Clare waves goodbye and follows the elder Torres out the front door and down to Mrs. Torres' car. Once inside Clare tells Drew the address and sits back as he pulls out of the driveway.

"So...how do you know Mr. Simpson's daughter? I didn't even know he had a daughter!" Drew asks, glancing at Clare out of the corner of his eyes as he drives toward the address Clare told him.

"Emma used to know Darcy. They were...friends? Friendly's maybe a better way to put it. Emma was best friends with Manny who was a really good friend to Darcy, and actually Emma wound up marrying Spinner, who used to date Darcy. I haven't seen them in a long time, not since after their wedding. So I'm excited to go see them." Clare explains, a hand on her stomach as she looks down in anticipation. She's unsure if she should mention it tonight to Mr. Simpson, knowing that Emma and Spinner will both be there. Would it be better to get it over with and explain it to him in a non-school setting that she's pregnant now or wait a while? She wasn't sure. But she knew she wouldn't be telling Mr. Simpson if Connor was going to be there too. That was not a conversation Clare wanted to have, especially with Connor.

Drew keeps quiet for the rest of the drive and eventually pulls up in front of the Simpson-Nelson house within a few minutes. Clare hops out of the car, thanking Drew and waving goodbye before walking up the steps.

"Baby Edwards!" she's greeted by the blonde girl before she can even ring the doorbell. "I saw you pulling up. Is that your boyfriend Dad told me about? Eli?" Emma asks as she pulls Clare in for a hug and then walks her into the house, closing the door behind her.

Clare bites her lip and shakes her head. "Actually that's Drew. He's my best friend Adam's brother." she explained, walking into the kitchen with Emma to greet Mr. Simpson, his wife, their son Jack, and Spinner. "Hi everyone! I'm glad you called and told me you were coming to visit. It's been forever." Clare says, walking over to Spinner and giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek and taking a seat at the table beside him. Everyone greets Clare with smiles and a wave. "So how long are you guys in town for?" she asks, turning her attention back to Emma.

"Well, actually it all depends on how my interview tomorrow goes." Emma says with a bright smile. Mr. Simpson seems to be grinning from ear to ear and so does Mrs. Nelson, so Clare takes it they've already been told the news.

"You know I own The Dot, technically I share it with Pete still. He owns the club completely but last year we bought The Dot and he's been managing it from site while I come in every once in a while and help out. Em's got an interview tomorrow and if she gets the job we might be moving back to town for good." Spinner explains, smiling over at Emma.

"Oh my God, that's so exciting! I'm so happy for you guys." Clare squeals with a bright, giddy smile. She'd known Spinner when he was dating Darcy, though not too well, but she'd seen him around a lot and gotten to know him better over the years still. And with Emma having been friends with Darcy, at least in some capacity, Clare had known her too. "You think you can convince Darcy to move back from Africa?" she asks, a little bit teasing but also somewhat serious. It was a day like the one she was having that made Clare really miss her older sister being close to home. They weren't amazingly close, but Clare knew Darcy would have been there for her during what she was going through now.

Spinner laughs and so does Emma, but Emma looks at Clare a little concerned. "So how are things with you? You're a junior now, right?" the blonde asks.

"Yeah, Mr. S tells us you're dating some guy named Eli? When do I get to meet him and make sure he's not bad news?" Spinner asks, raising an eyebrow at Clare. Emma nudges him gently with her elbow and gives him a look.

"Yeah, I'm a junior. I'm taking all APs, and I'm in grade 12 AP english and grade 12 AP science too." Clare explains with pride. She'd always been best when it came to school, and proud of it too. Emma and Spinner nod along as she talks. Mr. Simpson's sitting at the table too, half listening as he focuses on Jack playing in the other room. Mrs. Nelson is working on getting dessert ready for everyone. Clare continues with a small shrug, "But actually Eli and I kinda...broke up. Today." she admits, looking down at the table.

"Oh no! What happened?" Emma asks, reaching over to hold Clare's hand with a comforting smile on her face.

"What did he do? Should I go beat him up or something?" Spinner asks, looking at Clare with worried eyes. He's only half serious, but he makes a note to ask Mr. S more about this Eli kid later once Clare's gone home.

Shaking her head a little too quickly Clare nearly shouts, "No!" After a moment she's calmed down. "No, I...you don't need to do that."

"Clare is everything alright?" Mrs. Nelson asks, setting a bowl of fruit and ice cream down on the table.

"Yes, everything's fine! Why would you ask that?" Clare asks, serving herself some of the fruit, but after taking a bite of a strawberry she feels a little sick and pushes the plate away from her. Before anyone can say anything else Clare stands up from the table. "I actually should be heading out now. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer." Clare apologizes, going to hug and kiss Spinner and Emma goodbye. "Make sure you guys tell me what happens." she says. Hugging Mrs. Nelson goodbye Clare thanks her. "Tell Connor I said hi. And I'll see you at school on Monday Mr. Simpson!" she says and waves goodbye, walking out the door before anyone can ask her anything else.

As soon as she's out of the house Clare feels awful. She knows she shouldn't have acted the way she did, but in the moment she was so torn on telling them all the truth or keeping her secret just a little while longer. Clare walks down the street and arrives at the playground she used to visit as a kid. It's empty now, but she takes a seat on the swing, rocking herself back and forth. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." Clare admonishes herself, shaking her head as she rocks back and forth in the sand. It was late, and dark, but all Clare could pay attention to was how guilty she was feeling. Guilty for running out of the Simpson-Nelson home like that, for burdening the Torres family by staying with them. For her parents, for Eli. Too many thoughts were racing through her mind.

Was she being selfish?

Could she even raise a child on her own?

What was she thinking? Dragging Adam and the Torres family into this mess?

Clare got up from the swings and started pacing around the playground, thinking out loud. "I'm sixteen, I can't do this on my own. But I'm not on my own, I have Adam and Drew and the Torres'. Is that fair though? I mean, Adam's my best friend, and Eli's. But Drew and Audra and Omar? They don't deserve to have me in their house, taking up space and everything. Oh God, and Eli. What am I going to do at school on Monday? I'll have to explain to all my friends that Eli and I aren' together anymore. How am I supposed to do that? I can't tell them why! I can't tell them I'm pregnant. What would they say? Oh my God, oh my God." Clare exclaims, stomping her feet on the ground as she takes a seat on a bench off to the side in the playground. "I'm losing it. I don't even know what I'm going to do. Or say. I want this baby. Is that crazy? Is it crazy to think I want to raise this child on my own? At sixteen? Can I even do that on my own? I mean, without my parents support. Or even Eli. Eli...I can't believe he left me. I don't know how I'm going to do this without him." Clare groans, falling back on the bench, laying down, continuing her monologue. "And I was so rude, running out of there tonight. What do they think is wrong with me? I mean, obviously I need to apologize to them. I feel awful. But I don't think I could have stayed there any longer and talked without telling them what's really going on. And I don't think I'm ready to talk about what's really going on. I didn't even want to tell my parents, and look how that turned out. Maybe it's best to just keep it a secret until later. I won't be showing for a couple of months, right? I've got time to tell people. Right?" Clare asks, yawning the final question she asks to herself as her eyes close.

 _ **AN:**_ I hope to have this updated within a week or two, and not let it fall to the back of my mind like it did before, unfortunately. I've got muse to keep writing the story so I don't see it being a problem. Hope you liked the chapter!

Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!


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